'I wonder how you'll turn out to be'

 ...said the mother who loves everything to be planned and prepared. I realised this when I fell pregnant that to a great extent, I had lost control over what happens here on out. Pregnancy was in my control in some ways; what I eat, pre-natal vits etc but how much of our pregnancy can we control? Not much. How much control do we have over labour if it comes down to it really? Not much.

Now he's here and all there is to do js to try to be the best mother I can be. Ah, but how much can I control how he is going to be as an adult? Not much. I suppose I'm writing it down so I can get it to sink into my own head that planning will only allow us to control things to a certain extent and beyond that is fate.

All I intend to do is love this little guy with all my heart and nurture him with the best values I can and hope that his heart is soft and he grows up to be a kind and wonderful adult. Whatever he is, whoever he becomes, he will always be the little boy who flipped my world and filled my heart with so much love that I had to gush about it on a blog to preserve it.  

Squish, when you read this as an adult, I hope that you will always cherish and feel my unconditional love for you, you little star. 🌟



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